on june 12th, conan o’brien gave the commencement speech at dartmouth college. in his speech, he went over “the conan doctrine”. the first rule? “all bachelor degrees will be upgraded to master’s degrees. all master’s degrees will be upgraded to phd’s. and all mba students will be immediately transferred to a white collar prison.”
another highlight from his speech: “before i begin, i must point out that behind me sits a highly admired president of the united states and decorated war hero while i, a cable television talk show host, has been chosen to stand here and impart wisdom. i pray i never witness a more damning example of what is wrong with america today.”
see how i’m trying to keep things more entertaining?